i don't like dogs
i know its hard to believe but its true. i hate dogs actually. well, thats not fair. . . i hate having animal hair on me or on my belongings. i hate animals wanting to rub all over you as if personal space doesn't exist. you have to have permission to invade my privacy. i hate their breath. i hate that ppl think dogs are people, when they aren't.
i stopped by a co-workers house today to pick up some things she's giving me and her dog greeted me at the door. i of course was annoyed because the thing is like 4 feet tall and proceeded to wipe his mouth on my knee cap leaving slawber that crusted up ten minutes later (gross.) then the jerk wouldn't stop barking at me as if i had invaded HIS territory. this dog is something they call an English Shepherd dog or some crap like that. i don't know, he looks like the Abodminal Snowman with freyed carpet in place of the snow as hair. how can you love this thing?
we had a dog growing up, Lady. she was my sisters and i hated her most of the time. maybe i was secretly jealous that i didn't have a pet of my own. or maybe i think fleas and spending money to save an animal from a cancer that people can't even be cured from is ludicrous.
last christmas at our company party everyone was stunned to find out i didn't like the hostess' dog. "you seem like the pet type!?" to which i responded, "do i look like i want animal germs and hair all over my clothes and saliva that belongs to an animal on my skin? i don't think so."
i can be a real snob sometimes. this was one of those times.
posted by Stephanie Willis, LCPC, CADC @ 21:22
7 Comments:
slobber is gross, I'll admit, but the hair and the slobber are worth it to love on, and be loved by big balls of fur. I love them. I just can't help myself.
I know the fleece sounds easier, but I agree that if you had the fleece, there would be no need for faith.
I love dogs and I hate dogs (I love and hate a lot of things). I love my dog (dingo) because she loves me, obeys me, and because she protects my wife (my dog is a pit bull and her bark is so terrifying that she has actually pinned police officers against a wall). I also hate my dog because she eats babies, and I have to keep her away from children and all other animals. She got loose one day last summer and was only moments away from completely annihilating the neighbor’s small toy dog. I was able to intervene and pull the bloody dog from dingo’s jaws, seconds away from death. The neighbors were not pleased. Brooke and I both hope she dies before we make babies, otherwise we don’t know what we are going to do with her. I have proposed eating her and brooke tells me that’s sick and she can’t believe I say things like that. I can’t help but wonder what dingo tastes like. I’ve written too much again.
hi bonita...never commented here before...
i love dogs myself. to me dogs are eternal optimists and i find that encouraging. granted there are moody dogs out there, but i have never been cursed with such animals as my own pets. another reason i like dogs is that i feel like they exemplify raw, natural emotion. like when you scratch them on "that spot" they get this look in their eye like it's the most satisfying thing that they have ever experienced. i feel like that sometimes when i'm being scratched but i'm too embarrassed to show the quasi-orgasmic face. and my favorite part is that i can't offend my dog. even if i kick her in the face, she's my best friend again in 60 seconds.
but dogs are not humans that's true...unless you live in california.
hi there thomas
he he, now I get some secret satisfaction that Pippin the cat absolutely loves to rub all stinkin' over you when you visit my house.
heh heh.
We just got a puppy this year. Its smells, it chews, it rubs its butt along my carpet. It has left dead grass holes throughout the yard. It has ran through our fence and upset our neighbors. We own a new house. It rolls in filth and then comes inside my home. My young children are not ruining the house, this dog is. And to top it off, we can never be spontaneous anymore because we have this dog. Life is to short to own a dog. I have come to realize not only do I dislike dogs, but I dislike dog lovers...the ones that spend there money on doggie day care and think there dog is a baby. I am sorry, but you have to have issues when there are starving children in this world and you spend your money on doggie daycare or fitness memberships.
dogs play a major role in the human world they are used as rescue dogs even in the sea they guide blind children and adults (with out dogs what life would they have)they are used in the uniform services they lay ther life on the life to serve us human beings! they are the only things on this earth that love us more then they love themselves now thats wonderfull!!!!! each to ther own ,but if u wer runnin for ur life and a dog came to ur rescue (in the sea snow if u have criminals chasin u etc)i can guarantee you woudldt be moaning about slobber then would you!!
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